Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Recycling Toilet Paper and Delivering Pizzas is NOT the Solution!

I started this blog because of the irrational "personal finance" advice being offered/peddled everywhere. It's bad enough that many people choose to attend the Church Of Dave Ramsey ( who did NOT get rich by being debt free, but that's another story). Now we also have thousands of personal finance blogs, many with thousands of readers, who preach extreme frugality and credit aversion.

The hallmark of these bloggers is projecting their own failures and insecurities onto others and packaging it as advice. It is like the recovering alcoholic who chastises family members who have a glass of wine at dinner. Hey buddy, just because YOU ruined your life and became an irresponsible drunk doesn't mean I can't exercise my own freedoms. The typical personal finance blogger is just like that alcoholic- someone who could not "handle credit" and racked up tens of thousands of dollars in debt. They will tell you that if you so much as accept a credit card or student loan, your life will soon spiral out of control. The debt spending is addictive. Today you are using it to buy groceries or finance a college education. If you continue down this path you will soon find yourself spending your days at seedy strip bars snorting coke off strippers, using your American Express to pay for lap dances while taking cash advances to buy 8balls and pay your bookie. Your family will disown you, your teeth and hair will fall out, and God will cast you out of his kingdom.

And god forbid you "waste" your money on things like shoes that fit or double ply toilet tissue. Everyone knows that the best way to live is working 2 ( or more) minimum wage jobs while clipping coupons and holding your clothes together with duct tape.

If it seems like you don't earn enough money, you have 2 choices. Either cut your spending more or get a second job delivering pizzas. How can you save more money? Considering making your own soap and avoid using or drinking clean water. Turn your thermostat up or down. You may save 17 cents on your electric bill to put towards CFL bulb replacement. Force yourself to only eat ramen. Do not consume anything with nutritional value. It's your money or your life! This stuff is way more important than your physical health.

Once you but back to top ramen twice a day and have your water turned off, it is time to make some more money. How? There is only one answer here. Deliver pizzas, of course! Pizza places are always hiring for these jobs and it is an easy way to make a couple extra bucks. You will make lots of money and you will not put much wear on your car. It is extremely safe and you will never have to worry about being mugged or anything like that. Everyone who orders pizza has a lot of free cash and will give you at least a $5 tip for every pie you deliver. The money will add up in no time. While some people are wasting their time doing things like going to school or spending time with their families, you will save enough money to buy a used Hyundai with cash. Some people will even take out LOANS to advance their careers. Can you imagine spending $200 a month on loan payments to get a job making $50,000 a year? No thanks. If you stick with your minimum wage career and deliver pizzas on the side, you can easily make 19 or even 20 thousand dollars, with NO DEBT. And while those people are spending an extra $3 a year to buy toilet paper that doesn't hurt when they wipe, you have switched to leaves. And you even use the compost from your outhouse to help grow your garden. A couple times a year you can have some peppers with your ramen!

If you are having trouble making enough money or keeping your expenses down, that is the perfect 2 part plan. Obvious isn't it?


The Frugalista Files said...

You have a new reader. I'm laughing out loud.

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